A growing online trend people have been playing with in quarantine has been turning themselves into characters from the hit cartoon series The Powerpuff Girls. The show lasted six years and remains one of the handful of cartoons centered around a group of young girls fighting crime and evildoers. Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup are staples amongst feminist characters showing that you can be young, you can be a girl, you can be feminine, and you can still kick ass.
Their impact has gone so far that Christian Cowan released a Powerpuff-themed collection earlier this year in Los Angeles on International Women’s Day. This now begs the question, ‘What would real-life superheroes (female pop music singers) look like and what powers would they have if they were Powerpuff Girls?’
As a Powerpuff Girl, Ariana Grande can control her Rapunzel-like extensions with her mind as a way to lasso evildoers. If you’ve ever been slapped across the face with the brute force of someone else’s ponytail, you know that it can devastatingly weaken an opponent. Grande can also shoot laser beams from her chest because, if you’ve seen music videos, like Break Free or boyfriend, it just. makes. sense.
Grande’s 2019 hit song in my head received music video treatment as an accompaniment with her Vogue cover debut. The video follows a trip into Grande’s mind, highlighting some of her staples, such as her extension high ponytail, thigh-high boots and lots of filters. She can be seen in the video and in the Powerpuff universe wearing a Givenchy bodysuit paired with an Area puffer jacket/skirt combo and Yandy boots.
If God had made Beyoncé a Powerpuff Girl, she would have been too powerful. Arguably the world’s largest celebrity, Queen Bey’s superpower would be the power of invisibility given how she is the most seen person in the world, yet she can disappear almost completely from the public eye. Lest we forget how she simply appeared at the Golden Globes completely unseen. Coincidence? I think not.
She has evaded publicity and interviews for years, and even when she does take part, she has control over pretty much all of it. Who run the world? Powerpuff Girls.
It’s very fitting that Beyoncé would be wearing her Netflix documentary, Homecoming/Coachella outfit — the yellow Balmain hoodie and holographic fringe Louboutin boots have become so iconic for the singer, yet the look remains casual enough to be considerably unrecognizable walking down the street.
What role would Billie Eilish play in the Powerpuff Universe other than the ‘bad guy?’ Eilish never really fit into the mold of her other pop counterparts. From her sound to her look to her music subject matter, she has always followed a more anti-pop route to stardom. You might find her as a misunderstood girl who teams up with Mojo Jojo to take over Townsville until she eventually discovers that she’s powerful enough to take over the entire world by herself. One look into her ocean eyes and she can drain the energy from her nemeses. Eilish is no stranger to brand names and logos like Chanel and Gucci. Her character’s outfit has been curated with her street style, acrylic nails and signature lime green color in mind.
Britney Spears has the power of charm and seduction. With the taste of her lips she takes you on a ride — she can paralyze people with a simple toxic kiss. As a cartoon, Britney can be seen wearing the iconic red jumpsuit from her wildly popular music video Oops!…I Did It Again, which you can see fans try to replicate annually around Halloween on almost every street if they dare to put in effort past the …Baby One More Time music video costume.
As an added bonus, Spears has the power of heat vision — she can start fires in various places, home gyms, etc.
With Chromatica dropping, Lady Gaga has earned power over the elements in nature. After releasing her certified bop Rain On Me, a highly anticipated single collaboration with Ariana Grande, I refuse to believe that it was coincidence that it rained for two days worldwide (or at least on Long Island). Gaga has upgraded her title from ‘mother’ to ‘Mother Nature.’ Her character can be found in her vibrant hot pink garments from her Stupid Love music video, the lead single off of the new album.
Lana Del Rey is half human, half Powerpuff, and half mermaid … a mathematical anomaly. She sings a siren’s song with her hauntingly beautiful voice, ultimately driving men to insanity. Her enchanting music neutralizes all offensive attacks and lures people to their complete and utter destruction. She can be found walking shoeless on the beaches of Townsville especially on cloudy days in her white, lace, floral dress adorned with flowers in her hair just as her music video for Love off her 2017 album, Lust For Life.
Bop star, Lizzo, is just as badass in the PPG universe as she is in real life. We know she’s a hero because she tells us in her famous song, Truth Hurts, that “[she] will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your sidekick,” or something like that. Lizzo’s outfit is her Atelier Versace ensemble from the 2020 Grammy Awards — a white gown with a slit up the leg and a crystal pattern embellishment across the bodice. Lizzo is famous for her accompanying flute performances with her music. As a Powerpuff Girl, Lizzo’s power is mind control — she uses her flute to hypnotize listeners for forces of good and self-love.
Miley Cyrus has the power of self-replication. Throughout her many television and on-stage appearances, she has taken on various alter egos that have a lot in common with who Cyrus is as a person. These personas have taken on lives of their own so much that just last year in 2019, she became the first female ever to make the Billboard charts under three different names — Ashley O, Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana. Ashley O sports the short white outfit she wore for her On A Roll music video. Cyrus stunts an oversized Mugler tux as per her 2019 Grammy’s appearance. Montana wears a youthful pink sequin top (Moschino probably) beneath a clean, white (most likely Alexander McQueen) ensemble for one of her sold-out concerts.
I imagine Miley would also be able to inflict pain on her victims (à la Jane , Dakota Fanning’s character in Twilight) just because I feel like that’s exactly what is happening in this cursed image.
Nicki Minaj, with the darling appearance of a Barbie doll, has the power to transform into a fire-breathing dragon. Why? Because she literally told us on Kanye’s track, she is “a motherfuckin’ monster” and she ate That all the way up. And when I say “That,” I mean she ate her fellow features Rick Ross, Bon Iver, Jay-Z and even Kanye himself up and swallowed them whole in one verse. Of course she breathes fire because the woman only spits fire lines. Her cartoon’s very delicate look has been drawn as a parallel to the album art for Pink Friday, her first album to peak at number one on the Billboard 200, where she is pictured in a very Barbie-esque pink tiered dress.
Rihanna is a woman of many talents. She moves seamlessly from industry to industry with ease. She has tackled music, acting, fashion and entrepreneurship. The Barbados-born celebrity has entered the world of business with global brands like Fenty Beauty, Fenty fashion house, Fenty Films, Savage X Fenty — each becoming a powerhouse in its respective field. Fenty is known for its unprecedented levels of inclusivity and diversity in terms of skin color, sizing and representation of all different types of people.
Rihanna stuns whether she’s in street style or styling an unforgettable look for the Met Gala. With her versatility in fashion, talent, business and representation, she has earned the coveted power of shapeshifting. Her character’s look is based off of the Armani Privé crystallized orange crop top and black velvet ball gown skirt that she wore to the 2017 Grammy Awards, where she received six nominations for her album Anti.
Taylor Swift doesn’t have much firepower as a Powerpuff, but she has far more insidious abilities. Rather than fighting physically, she has the power to create memories in your head that make you feel pain and heartbreak you never even knew existed, thus destroying you psychologically and emotionally. Additionally, she has power over healing, catharsis and remedying the mental state that she was able to break. As a Powerpuff Girl, Swift wears the gold Jennifer Jones bodysuit from her 2019 American Music Awards performance before accepting her award for Artist of the Decade.
Rumor has it that the snake queen herself also dabbles in Parseltongue and rules dominion over her army of snakes.
These girls put the words ‘power’ and ‘pop’ in ‘Powerpuff,’ and if we’re talking reboots, this is definitely a show that would be worth watching. I’m just waiting for Cartoon Network to call me up with a contract negotiation. Let’s get an online petition going so that, once again, the day can be saved thanks to …
